Author: Lucie Shaw, MBOT Chair & Owner of Nurse Next Door Mississauga
- Seek the advice of a trusted professional. A Physician can be your best ally in getting your parents to accept help. We find that an outside expert opinion can go a long way.
- Hire a caregiver to manage household chores and not actual hands-on care. This is less threatening to a loved one’s independence and will serve as a means to “get the caregiver in the door.”
- Direct your attention to the parent who needs more help. By allying yourself with the more independent parent, you may ultimately be able to get them both to accept the help they require.
- Focus on you as the caregiver needing the help and not them needing assistance. “I’m not sleeping; I can’t eat and can’t think at work because I am worried about you. Please do this for me; work with me to come up with a solution we can both live with.”
- Tour a few retirement homes as an alternative. Let them choose whether they want to move or stay at home.
- Give them a potential out. “Let’s try this for two months. If you still don’t like having someone help you, then we can consider other options.”
- Discuss money. Let them know that spending money on their happiness and keeping them in their own home is worth far more to you than a few extra dollars of inheritance.
- Show them the stats. 1 out of 3 seniors will fall this year, and almost all injury-related hospitalizations are the result of a simple fall. Do they realize that a little bit of help may prevent this from happening?
- Ask them about their fears and their goals. Ask them about what they fear about getting older (recent studies show that the #1 fear of aging is losing independence and the #2 fear is moving out of their own home and into a nursing home). Start working together to help make these goals come true.
- If all else fails, hire a “friend” to help. We know it isn’t being completely honest but it could mean the difference between getting the help you and your parents need and watching your parents end up in a situation they don’t want to be in.
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